by Austa Wind

Hello again. It's Agusta Wind time to get out the Pepto. Today's subject class is KJ's. I have decided to educate the masses about your jobs. Besides the fact that most of you Suck and couldn't read a crowd if I put it in Braille. I'm gonna leave that one for another Jerry Springer Show.

I have been all over the country and seen more shows than I care to admit and come to the conclusion that someone has secretly sent out a how-to book on being a KJ. It is a communist plot meant to create mediocrity. Why else would our beloved KJ's dress in Thrift-market clothes, announce singers like they were calling Cattle and playing music even your deaf Mother hates? It's money! Plain and simple. Our KJ's are poor people. I have talked to many many of them. Most work for other people and earn between $10 and $20 an hour. I am being liberal here. Oh good pay you say. Bull.

OK here is the life of a KJ. The first voice of the morning is THE BOSS. He/She is whining about some crap that the club owner has called about as well as your schedule for the day. You jump in your beat-up pick-up and go pick-up equipment. You move the 14 tons of crap into the truck and head for the gig. You then unload and set-up the 14 tons of crap hoping that everything works properly cause God knows you dont know how to fix it. Ok everything is working and you have been pretty quick about it. With drive time and setup time approx. 2 hours. Oh by the way there is no pay for this. You start getting paid when the show starts. Hopefully (I truly pray) you brought a change of clothes and a bar of soap cause you are a melted heap of smelly dung by now.

Refreshed, it is now showtime. The customers pile in and proceed to "Get their Drink On" and sing the same tired 3 songs they always sing, week after week after week after week. It is the KJ's job to blow smoke up your ass and tell you week after week after week after week how GREAT you are. Some do it better than others, some even take the time to encourage you to sing new material. Some KJ's even learn new music so the customers can hear it and try it themselves. The customers whine for new songs, yet sing the same 3, and CONSTANLY try to manipulate the KJ into "moving them closer to the top of the list" This is WORK. Your drunk asses are not always easy to deal with! The point is, it is WORK, just like the Bartenders, and the Waitresses and deserves to be recognized and rewarded. TIP TIP TIP. Show a little appreciation. If each customer gave the KJ a dollar, they would have at least $50 extra bucks a night. This goes for the KJ owner as well as the worker. You want new music, better equipment etc. Where do you think it comes from? YOU! Not all KJ's or owners work other jobs to support their Karaoke habit. This is a business. Clubs pay nightly between $125- $250, mostly in this area the lower end money is the norm. If you are an owner and have people work for you you have payroll expenses, taxes, insurance, new music cost, new equipment costs, printing of books and flyers as well as repairs on equipment. There isn't much left. So if you want a happier, better dressed more responsive KJ. Show a little appreciation where it counts, IN THE TIP JAR !!!