Notes from the road
This month I found myself living the comedy dream. I was booked for a two week run down in Florida, which included a full week's stay at Club Med in Port St. Lucie. If you've never been to a Club Med before.....Go! The only two words in the English dictionary I love more than "Open Bar" are "All Inclusive." Oh yes, every hole of golf I played, every meal I ate and every bourbon and coke I drank were on the house and unlike my last trip to Vegas, the house didn't win this time. In fact, what I did to the house is considered assault in 48 states. The only down side to the whole trip (if there has to be a down side) was that I happened to be in Florida during the freakish phenomenon known as the "love bug" infestation. If you are not familiar with love bugs (and even scientists are baffled), they are these harmless little insects that look similar to lightning bugs. Unlike the lightning bug, the love bug doesn't have a cute little butt that lights up. Oh no, the love bug chooses to be cute and adorable by flying around having sex with other love bugs in mid air. For reasons unknown, two weeks out of the year these bugs show up, mate and then disappear without a trace until the next year. Somebody call Grissom from CSI, because I need to know why. When I tell you these bugs are everywhere, I literally mean that they have special car wash stations at rest stops to power wash the thousands upon thousands of love bugs that get caked up on your grill when you interrupt their coatis with 75 miles per hour of rental car impact. I think that's the equivalent of spending all night trying to hook up with a chick, just to have her stupid drunk roommate spill the beans about an STD she may or may not have. All I'm trying to say is that these bugs appear to be cute, and what they're doing is DEFINITELY what a lonely comic needs to see. But the novelty wears off quicker than the soles of Walmart running shoes. By day two these bugs were already more annoying than Dane Cook trying to babble his way to a punchline. I guess what I'm trying to say is that its always been my dream to have an orgy in my hotel roomÉI just never thought it would happen because I left the window open. To come out of the shower and see 2,000 love bugs getting more action on your bed than you ever got is definitely a swift kick to the ego. God bless you love bugs and your annual two week honeymoon, but stay away from my pillowcase.

Local Note:
My good friend and standup comedian Rock n' Roll John has started a new show at the Virginia Beach oceanfront. A South Carolina native and 20 year veteran of standup, Rock n Roll has worked clubs and colleges nation-wide and now calls Virginia Beach home. His new show is every Thursday through Saturday at the Holdiay's Bar & Grill on 5th and Atlantic. Showtime is at 9:00 p.m., so if you're reading this and its one of those daysÉmove it on down! There's a good chance you might find me there as well. George Booker and the Bayside Inn gang has put together another show at The Boot on W. 21st St. in Norfolk called Klaxar's Focus Group. Check it out July 19th at 10:00 p.m.

The Spotlight Show of the month:
"THE TRUTH SHOW" at Cozzy's Comedy Club in Newport News on July 19-21. This show, put together by Averell Carter and Dave Beck (two of the most talented acts to ever come out of Hampton Roads) goes beyond the normal realm of standup comedy. The show's theme is simpleÉ"Everyone says that different races should celebrate their differences. We think we should celebrate our similarities." ÐAverell Carter. Not many shows can guarantee to be hilarious, but this one's got my seal of approval. Seriously, check it out! http://myspace.com/thetruthshow.

Comedy Calendar:
July 1, 5-8: Funny Bone: J. Medicine Hat (WED-THURS 8:00, FRI-SAT 8:00 & 10:30, SUN 7:00 p.m.)
July 3: Bayside Inn-Open Mic (9:00 p.m.)
July 5: Cozzy's Comedy Club-Open Mic (9:00 p.m.) Hosted by Jay Gates
July 5-7: Holiday's 5th St: Rock n Roll John (9:00 p.m.)
July 6-7: Cozzy's Comedy Club-The Kidd w/ Nick Cantone (FRI 9:00, SAT 8:30 & 10:30 p.m.)
July 10: Bayside Inn-Open Mic (9:00 p.m.)
July 11-15: Funny Bone: Michael Loftus (WED-THURS 8:00, FRI-SAT 8:00 & 10:30, SUN 7:00 p.m.)
July 11: Funny Bone: Apollo Night (10:00 p.m.)
July 12-14: Holiday's 5th St: Rock n Roll John (9:00 p.m.)
July 13-14: Cozzy's Comedy Club-Disgruntled Clown w/ Nick Lamana (FRI 9:00, SAT 8:30 & 10:30 p.m.)
July 17: Bayside Inn-Open Mic (9:00 p.m.)
July 18: Funny Bone: Apollo Night (10:00 p.m.)
July 19-22: Funny Bone: Tony Rock (WED-THURS 8:00, FRI-SAT 8:00 & 10:30, SUN 7:00 p.m.)
July 19: Enrico's on Colley Ave.-Comedy Night w/ Jason Kypros (9:00 p.m.)
July 19-21: Cozzy's Comedy Club-The Truth Show w/ Averell Carter & Dave Beck, hosted by Jay Gates (THURS 9:00, FRI 9:00, SAT 8:30 & 10:30 p.m.)
July 19-21: Holiday's 5th St: Rock n Roll John (9:00 p.m.)
July 19: The Boot, 123 W. 21 ST, Norfolk-Klaxar's Focus Group (10:00 p.m.)
July 24: Bayside Inn-Open Mic (9:00 p.m.)
July 25: Funny Bone: Apollo Night (10:00 p.m.)
July 26-28: Holiday's 5th St: Rock n Roll John (9:00 p.m.)
July 26-29: Funny Bone: John Witherspoon (WED-THURS 8:00, FRI-SAT 8:00 & 10:30, SUN 7:00 p.m.)
July 27-28: Cozzy's Comedy Club-Scott Martin w/ Vince Martin (FRI 9:00, SAT 8:30 & 10:30 p.m.)
July 31: Bayside Inn-Open Mic (9:00 p.m.)
Contact Info: JayGates@cox.net